college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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