We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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