yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
