Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
