my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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