did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
