I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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