Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
