She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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