Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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