Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
