It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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