Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
