her facebook's as public as her vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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