I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
