Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize