why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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