My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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