ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
