Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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