Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
