mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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