google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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