This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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