Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
