I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
