At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This is my gift to your gina
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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