then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
