Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
