I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
