wanna go halves on a baby?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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