wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
