We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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