So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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