I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
