they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
