You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
