you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
