Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
