By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
