69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
