Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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