I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
