please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize