Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We have started to decorate penises.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
