So drunk its hurt
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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