a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
