it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
