it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
