we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
