Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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