We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
