I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
