I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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