My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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