Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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