do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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