It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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