I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know her cup size but not her name....
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