i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
